Chiang Mai 14 Nov. Been in more temples today than your average brain surgeon. All very relaxing - Buddha's smile is infectious. It's a happy place, a Buddhist Wat, although Thai Buddhism is undoubtedly Organised Religion, with all the usual institution and orthodoxy that that implies.

Buddha he say desire is misleading, and causes you to act in ways that create unhappiness for yourself and others. There is a middle way, and no-one will lead you down it except yourself. Believe it, kids, and stuff all that sin-and-repentance Christian ball-ache, or you're coming back as a garbage collector, a cockroach, or worse, another office worker. Imagine going through that again...

Shoulder muscles and malabused doigts...just about recovered from 2 days thrashing wildly Nirvana-ward at the fantastic local crag that, for better or worse, is known as Crazy Horse. Thereby known (one has to suppose) because... a) part of it vaguely resembles a horse (the front part, as luck would have it), and... b) the American guys who developed it for climbing have heard Neil Young's finest-ever backing band once or twice. With some of the best routes I've recently climbed labouring under the unfortunate names 'Diarrhea' and 'Pumpfest' one can only assume that the guys are full of, and unable to control, stools of liquid consistency. And while I'm at it, why do Americans talk, like, ALL THE TIME at the crag? Like they insist on saying 'First af all'...and then 'Second of all'... as if we're fucking interested. Look at the view ya dope, and take in some nature, we came here because it's a NICE PLACE (Diana, Robin, Dan and every American I actually met subsequently to first posting this - if you ever read this, sorry. You are lovely people and obviously excluded from any generalisations).

To be fair, the better route names include 'Song of Stone' and 'Aiea', and actually, the guides have done the world a great service by bolting up the crag, installing gazebos, 'restrooms', a path, and free mosquito coils at the foot of your route. This is a seriously quality crag for anyone who likes a, ahem, pumpfest. And there's a happy international team of climbing bums heading out on the bus daily. We're all heading back tomorrow for another spanking...

Jungle trekking...hill tibes...river rafting...all seems a long time ago, such is the cleansing power of The Steep. Spent 3 days being led around without really seeing much except the inside of a forest, and never seeing a map or knowing where we were. The full group-walking deal: lots of time waiting around 'til everyone's ready, then not enough time to stop and gawp when you're on the trail. On the whole though, a very pleasant time spent with some endearingly eccentric companions, wandering in't jungle, swimming in rivers and generally gazing around. Disappointingly, apart from Jean-Luc (French spaceman, and all-round Sound Chap), the most exciting creatures spotted were insects and crustaceans. That is, until we went to the elephant camp and mounted up for rides - stately, ponderous beasts, you can imagine them spearheading a military campaign to cross the odd Alp or two, given time and a desire for central heating and sanitation. And their skin is surprisingly thinner and softer that you'd ever imagine. Must be all the mud baths.

Signing off now. If you don't hear from me again, I was struck by a lightning bolt by a vengeful God while walking back to my heathen guest-house.