The book I was reading? Birdsong, by Sebastain Faulks. They don't come much better.

Ton Sai, 30 Nov. The smallness of the world, even the climbing world, is a given, but it's still incredible who you meet at the crag/cafe/bar/hangout... First off, a Polish/American couple who I met at the crag near Chiang Mai (OK, not so unlikely, as there are basically about 3 places to climb in Thailand), who have been excellent company over a few beers and green curries. They live in Boulder, CO, but don't know Andy Donson (which detracts from my thread a bit, but there you go. Andy?). Then, next morning over a coffee I meet Yorkshire Alex, who I'd only met once, a year ago, at Widdop (a crag near Hebden Bridge). I didn't place him immediately but that was all right as I bumped into him again in Wee's Bar last night (this shack in the woods has already lodged a firm spot in my World Top 10 of Hospitable Premises). Lastly, I was climbing yesterday with a Finnish woman of impressively muscular physique, appellation Erika. Let me think...climbers in Finland? Hang on...Dave Smith - we used to work in the same lab at Bristol Uni and would go down to Avon Gorge sometimes when the boss was away for the day. Now lives in Turku...I casually mention this, and it's 'Oh yes Dave, of course, I go cross-country skiing with him!' Turns out it's the same Dave Smith too. What are the chances of that?

And so...today went diving out near Ko Phi Phi; 2 dives, the first one awesome! Reef only 8/10, but massive shoals of fish, especially jack and tuna out from the reef, everywhere, and big shoals of sizeable colourful fish nearer to the reef. All the usual parrot- and lionfish, plus some very weird ghost fish and pipefish. Incredibly primitive-looking anemones, almost irridescent blues and greens, a huge blue starfish, and sea slugs like caterpillars on steroids. Someone claimed to have seen a (black-tipped reef) shark, but there's always one...

Just read my book all day. Heavenly. Which brings me to...

Q2. What about...Heaven and Hell ?
Judeo-Christianity/Islam. Heaven: meant to be a hot ticket; exact nature undisclosed but aspirations vary from floating on a small cloud playing a harp (Christians) to having your own harem (indoctrinated young Muslim terrorists). General consensus that, even if not much goes on, it beats going to Hell, where you have to watch reality TV and cookery programmes all day and night. And no ad breaks.
Hinduism. 37 Heavens, where activities range from sitting around contentedly, to endless cavorting with willing apsaras (irressistable females who provide endless sensual pleasures). Not clear whether you get to choose which option, or whether women can opt for male apsaras if they want, or even if they can get in. Yama, the God of Judgement, with the help of his 2 assessors Dharma and Chutrayupta, make the call, but kings, nobles etc get a free pass to aspara Heaven. Haples sinners are hurled through a trapdoor to one of 32 alternative Hells where the punishments fit the crimes. Confusingly, reincarnation is also allowed.
Buddhism. There is no Heaven, and no Hell. There is even no soul that could go to either place. Life is supposed to be suffering, and to escape it is the aim. Nirvana, the mind-boggling state of nothingness, comes if-and-when you achieve enlightenment and escape the cycle of rebirth and death. So one way of looking at it would be that we are in Hell already. On the whole, Buddhists seem a pretty happy bunch though, here in Hell...

Ton Sai, near Krabi, S Thailand. Arrived here yesterday by long-tail boat (not all the way from Sukhothai, obviously; just the last bit). Ton Sai is a little beach and village surrounded by limestone crags, some small some huge, and the easiest way to get around is by boat. Have rented a wood-and-straw bungalow in the woods (about 4 notes/night), and there's climbing, diving and sea-kayaking all within easy reach. Yes yes! Hooked up with some S Africans today and did a few 6b's and 6b plus routes over at East Railay. Steep. Don't think I'll be sending 6c onsight or 7a worked, Crazy Horse-stylee, 'til maybe I get a little fitter.

Have been to the legendary Angkor, Siem Reap, Cambodia, since my last post. Cambodia is really crummy: lots of hassle, people trying to make money from you all the time, and rip-off prices for foreigners. Maybe that's just because there are so many tourists at Siem Reap. The country is still in an economic trough since the collapse of Communism and the Khmer Rouge some 13 years ago, and you can't really blame its underemployed and poor inhabitants for flocking to Siem Reap to fleece the rich for their dollaz. Anyway, it doesn't inspire you to explore further than the immediate Angkor area, which is quite enough to be going on with. Angkor is just amazing. No point in trying to describe the ruins, I'll post some pics at a later date.

The bas-reliefs at Angkor Wat have encouraged me to begin to get to grips with that most bizarre and complex religion, Hinduism. As an entity in itself, it seems to defy description and classification: it's about as multi-theistic as you could want, and it also seems to have lots of alternative belief-systems built into it. For example, there is a belief in reincarnation and also in Heaven. That I just don't get. However, when you compare and contrast it with other major faiths, things get quite interesting.

Lets imagine you are shopping for the best deal after death, and you want some practical help in a bewildering and competitive market. This new, ill-informed but easy-to follow, online resource What Afterlife?...for those with an existence to play with who know they will one day bite the Big One and want to back a winner. May cause Professors of Comparative Religion to hang their heads worldwide. The format is a simple Q and A...I might put some scores together later, we'll see how it goes...

Q1.What about...God?
Judeo-Christian/Islam: one God, mysterious in appearance but almost certainly bearded. Address unknown; thought to be Heaven. Quite active at first; wrathful and terrifying in the Old Testament and other texts; seems to have lost interest in human affairs about 2000 years ago. Rumours of extended gardening leave or early retirement fail to deter enthusiasts.
Hinduism: 3 top Gods and another 18 major ones. Each one rides a mount such as a chariot or elephant, and you can choose your favourite God, or worship different ones depending on what you want to happen next week. Gods can appear in different forms (eg as themselves or as an avatar, ie human or animal, or even both at the same time), are always fucking and fighting, and a multitude of colourful legends abound about their activities and exploits. Again, their complete inactivity over the last few millenia doesn't seem to deter the converted. Gaudy illustrations very popular.
Buddhism: there is no God. Simps as that.

The great thing when you're travelling: you have time to mull over the big questions. Like, do fish know whether they're happy or not.

In Buddhism, it seems that merit can be gained not just with good behaviour, but with money. You can buy a caged bird or a trapped fish, and gain credit toward your next reincarnation when you set it free. The animals are caught especially for this purpose by people who make their living in this way. A parodox is obvious, but that doesn't necessarily help you decide the best approach to the merit-gaining business. What's a conscientious person supposed to do? Participate or not...is your merit increased if you buy a fish and release it into the river? Answer a-g...
a) Yes, because you're setting free a caged beast
b) No, because you're condoning the behaviour of the trapper, who will go and do it again
c) Yes, because the fish might be someone you cared about, like your dead uncle. Best to check for a major characteristic feature (bald patch, facial twitch, cigarette habit), before deciding. That fish might be YOU next time around. Bummer!
d) No, because the fish has no idea that it's trapped and unhappy. It's just a fish
e) Yes: although trappers are scurrilous opportunists, they have to make a living somehow and you'll gain merit for being compassionate to them
f) No, because the fish is from some pond in a back garden in the suburbs, and will die as soon as it's put the river. Or there's too much of a temperature difference between the water in it's basin and the river it's getting dumped into. Then you'll get negative merit for killing it
g) Don't know. It's all too much

Maybe if we had score charts available for each option that would help. What about terrapins? Or unappealing fish like eels? The scientists are, as ever, baffled.

Sukhothai, old town. Lovely park consisting of a ruined city, once the capital of Thailand. Dozens of buddhas and chedis; ruins spotted about over a large area. You can hire a bike, which makes getting around quick and easy. Been a while...tarmac-to-dirt-road transition...failed to compute for a one-speed sit-up-and-beg bedstead rather than a 27-speed MTB with front sus. Splat. Holes in my hand, elbow, knee, shin and trousers. Bah... No damage to the bike, though, which was die-cast from flying mallets by heroic industrial workers in a neighbouring Communist state.

CRAZY HORSE

Wat Arun, Bangkok

Sukhothai 21 Nov. Just arrived in town after 5h bus journey. Very amused to see elephants on the street with rear bike lights tied to their tails!

Blogged earlier today, but a power cut cut me off in my prime until the power cut cut... Had another trip uphill, this time to the pilgramage site of Doi Suthep, a beautiful temple complex above Chiang Mai featuring lots of golden buddhas and a big chedi. All small-in-scale and situated outdoors, monks chanting and bells and gongs chiming for good luck. Shared a songthau with an Irish girl on the way up, and some Germans, Swiss and French on the way down. Irish girl hardest to understand; maybe it was the distracting brown eyes. Making little headway with the Thai language tho' : current vocab = 5 words pronounced differently every time. Smiling through...

Chiang Mai, N Thailand, 17 Nov. A multi-day siege of Thailiand's much sought-after highest summit, Doi Inthanon, bore fruit today during a fearless bid by an international team of dedicated day-trippers. After a concerted day of booking the cheapest tickets possible, the cross-cultural conglomerate stormed the summit using carefully planned minibus tactics. Conditions were excellent, and the summit party enjoyed clear skies from the moment they were picked up from guest houses, scattered around Chiang Mai, at 8.30 am. Emergency rations of bread and cheese proved unnecessary, as restaurant food was found to be available at a roadside half-way point. The final pull to the summit proved strenuous and the outcome uncertain. In a hard-headed display of ruthless decision-making, the driver insisted on turning off the air conditioning to improve vehicle performance at 2400 m. The team gagged for air, but held on with windows cracked slightly open. A gaunt but ubilant John H Bull (professional office worker whose major sponsors include Spinetrak Postural Aids, HSBC Overdraft Services and Halifax Mortgage Holidays) was almost beside himself as he hugged the roadside sign inscribed 'Thailands's Highestedest Pointeds', which stood only metres below a concrete path to a summit Stupa containing an old King's remains. 'Yesterday this hadn't even occured to me, and now I'm here and nobody can take that away. It's a wildest dream come true', he was thought to splutter, though noise from the heavy traffic made communications difficult. 'But, make no mistake, it's not over til we all get down safely'. Fortunately the descent proved uneventful, and the team dozed contentedly most of the way home listening to their i-pods.

Chiang Mai 14 Nov. Been in more temples today than your average brain surgeon. All very relaxing - Buddha's smile is infectious. It's a happy place, a Buddhist Wat, although Thai Buddhism is undoubtedly Organised Religion, with all the usual institution and orthodoxy that that implies.

Buddha he say desire is misleading, and causes you to act in ways that create unhappiness for yourself and others. There is a middle way, and no-one will lead you down it except yourself. Believe it, kids, and stuff all that sin-and-repentance Christian ball-ache, or you're coming back as a garbage collector, a cockroach, or worse, another office worker. Imagine going through that again...

Shoulder muscles and malabused doigts...just about recovered from 2 days thrashing wildly Nirvana-ward at the fantastic local crag that, for better or worse, is known as Crazy Horse. Thereby known (one has to suppose) because... a) part of it vaguely resembles a horse (the front part, as luck would have it), and... b) the American guys who developed it for climbing have heard Neil Young's finest-ever backing band once or twice. With some of the best routes I've recently climbed labouring under the unfortunate names 'Diarrhea' and 'Pumpfest' one can only assume that the guys are full of, and unable to control, stools of liquid consistency. And while I'm at it, why do Americans talk, like, ALL THE TIME at the crag? Like they insist on saying 'First af all'...and then 'Second of all'... as if we're fucking interested. Look at the view ya dope, and take in some nature, we came here because it's a NICE PLACE (Diana, Robin, Dan and every American I actually met subsequently to first posting this - if you ever read this, sorry. You are lovely people and obviously excluded from any generalisations).

To be fair, the better route names include 'Song of Stone' and 'Aiea', and actually, the guides have done the world a great service by bolting up the crag, installing gazebos, 'restrooms', a path, and free mosquito coils at the foot of your route. This is a seriously quality crag for anyone who likes a, ahem, pumpfest. And there's a happy international team of climbing bums heading out on the bus daily. We're all heading back tomorrow for another spanking...

Jungle trekking...hill tibes...river rafting...all seems a long time ago, such is the cleansing power of The Steep. Spent 3 days being led around without really seeing much except the inside of a forest, and never seeing a map or knowing where we were. The full group-walking deal: lots of time waiting around 'til everyone's ready, then not enough time to stop and gawp when you're on the trail. On the whole though, a very pleasant time spent with some endearingly eccentric companions, wandering in't jungle, swimming in rivers and generally gazing around. Disappointingly, apart from Jean-Luc (French spaceman, and all-round Sound Chap), the most exciting creatures spotted were insects and crustaceans. That is, until we went to the elephant camp and mounted up for rides - stately, ponderous beasts, you can imagine them spearheading a military campaign to cross the odd Alp or two, given time and a desire for central heating and sanitation. And their skin is surprisingly thinner and softer that you'd ever imagine. Must be all the mud baths.

Signing off now. If you don't hear from me again, I was struck by a lightning bolt by a vengeful God while walking back to my heathen guest-house.

Chiang Mai, N Thailand, 8 Nov. Internet contact...ever easier the further you get from civilisation. Here, internet cafes proliferate in inverse proportion to local income, 15p/hour being the cost thisof.
Chiang Mai is a lovely emerald haven that contrasts totally with the thronging mulestrom of Bangagainsttheklok. Juxtapositions: temples and buddhas, street markets, bazaars and bars, noise and congestion. I tell ya, them happy Thais buzz around all day and night, and they love it. Things are getting done everywhere all the time without anybody seeming to worry or complain about much at all. There are massive Buddhist temples, serenity amidst the severity, and funky Chinamen in funky Chinatown. Rainstorms almost every afternoon, and a big street flood one day in particular. It took nearly half an hour to get to the local 7-11 without getting wet feet (wading would have spoilt the fun).

As there's a big festival approaching, I couldn'ae get out soon enough on the train, so opted to fly here with HappyGo LuckyJetaiii4u - 27 quid, curt staff, home from home. Am now in a nice guest house in Chiang Mai with a pool, and a view featuring extensive chlorophyll for 4 quid a night! Woohoo! Tomorrow I venture on a 3 day organised trek with some eco-tourist outfit, accompanied by a power-trio of Brits, a cube of Dutch, a wad of Swiss, a Kiwi and some quiet ones at the back (Swedes, I think) who will set a good example. We're hiking up Thailand's highest peak, mutually exploiting tribespeople, riding elephants and rafting rivers. Not sure what's planned for the afternoon.
Laters....JH